Christmas Comes to the AIDS Grove

I spent Saturday morning with my family and my friends at the AIDS Grove stringing beads and hanging ornaments from the dogwoods that surround the “Circle of Friends.” I have spent the last five years gathering at the Grove on the third Saturday of each month, with largely the same group of remarkable people – weeding, planting and pruning, but mostly supporting one another in our grief. Almost all of us there, have lost a loved one to HIV/AIDS and/or know someone who is living with the disease now. I lost a sister six years ago at the age of 43. She was younger than I am today.

She wasn’t gay, she wasn’t an intravenious drug-user and she didn’t fit the “profile.” She made the fatal mistake of falling in love with someone who did. I have struggled with why she chose him as a partner and have come up empty. I have been angry at her for letting go too soon. I have missed her at the most unexpected moments of my life as when a song comes on the radio that she sang to or when I recognize her smile in the grandson she never met. I have also learned that the “profile” does not exist and have had that sterotype shattered along the way. My “Grove Family” comes together on a monthly basis to honor all of those we have loved and lost to this devestating illness.

While the Grove gives us a place to remember, it also celebrates LIFE. Above all else, the AIDS Grove is a constant reminder of renewal, of the cycle of life and of hope. Please take a moment to learn more about the Grove by viewing the documentary at www.openeyepictures.com titled: A work in progress, Forget me Not (the Grove’s official flower). And next time you are in Golden Gate Park, astound yourself with a visit to the AIDS Grove – the most beautiful and profound parcel of land in the park. The Grove welcomes all visitors.